The Scariest Feedback I Ever Gave...

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞...

I once coached a senior business leader after one of his live presentations. His intent was always good, I learned that he cared deeply about his employees. But when the audience asked tough questions, he often came across as defensive and negative.

Giving him feedback terrified me. He was very senior, I didn't know him so well at the time and I worried about the impression it might leave or the risk to my career.

I shared what I observed, we walked through examples, and we tried putting ourselves in the audience’s shoes. He kept a poker face while I spoke, but he listened. And then, he started to explore alternative ways of responding.

What surprised me most came later: after future interventions, he would actually seek me out, asking, “What did you think this time?”

💡𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧: even the most senior leaders need a mirror. And while it’s uncomfortable, coaching upward can build unexpected trust.

👉 When have you had to give feedback that seemed scary to you?

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